The magic of secret places…

a ritual I've had from Dallas to San Francisco
shannon silver in san francisco, golden gate bridge ā€¢ essellesse, a lazy luxury lifestyle blog

Last Saturday, Erik & I took a walk to my secret place.

In the Marina District, along the water, there’s a secret little set of rocks that I like to sit by. You can see the sun rise & set, the water & waves, the Golden Gate bridge & sometimes even sea lions!

Erik & I watched one of the most epic sunsets we’ve seen all year together. We got to talking and I told him that when I lived by myself, I’d come here by myself all the time. It’s an instant head clearer & it’s a special to me place. It’s my secret place!

We got to talking about secret places so I wanted to bring it to essellesse.

Back when I lived in Dallas, I even had a secret place: Turtle Creek Park. It also was by the water {Turtle Creek!} & there was a certain area I’d like to sit by thr fountain & watch the water. I’d even go late night & watch the moon reflect on the water. Whenever things or my mind was chaotic, it brought me calmness.

So what exactly is a secret place?

It’s exactly what it sounds!

A place, secret to you, to go to clear your head. It’s a constant place that will bring you calmness & peace. It’s a place I go when I’m stressed, when I’m bored, when I’m angry – basically a place I get positive energy from when I’m feeling negative emotions. I also go when I’m happy too – it just adds to my happiness!

How do you find your secret place?

In Dallas, I forgot exactly how I stumbled on it. I lived downtown so it was close enough but far enough to feel like I was getting out of my neighborhood. As soon as I got there, it just felt special to me & I couldn’t wait to go back. I wasn’t journaling then & the online world or even our smart phones weren’t anything like it was today {it was 2011}, so I’d go and just clear my head. I rarely had the virtual stresses so in a sense I was clearing my head from my head! That park always did the trick.

I found my secret place here in San Francisco three years later. I had a Saturday to myself so I took a walk with no idea really where I was going. Before I knew it, I found the most perfect view to watch the {new to me} Golden Gate Bridge… but it was weird. As soon as I got there, I got the EXACT same feeling & vibe as I did with my secret place in Dallas. I knew this place was special & continued to visit it!

Those are my personal stories SO here’s my tips on finding your secret place

don’t overthink it! the best ones are the ones you happen to stumble upon

pay attention to how various locations are making you feel.

if you are at a place & feel sad when it’s time to leave, give it a revisit in the next day or two! you might see the revisits occur more & more often šŸ™‚

what’s the point of a secret place?

it’s a simple place, special to you, where you live that you go to alone! It’s fun to take people you care about there too, but the more people you show, the less secret it gets!

It’s a place to recharge – away from work, devices, personal stressors. It’s a place to take in the energy around you & clear your head!

Also perfect for journaling! I always love to bring my journal & a pen {this is my fav black pen} and get to writing. Topics range to how I’m feeling, what’s on my mind to creative outlets like ideas for content creation, etc. They do wonders on my creativity

When you have nothing to do, it’s a perfect way to spend the day / night. It becomes a tradition you have with yourself… kinda like a date! The more time you spend dating yourself, the more it will nourish & strengthen your relationship with yourself. Like all relationships, it takes work & lots of tender love and care.

It also creates magic in the familiar. It is very easy to grow disdain, resentment, or indifference to where you live or your everyday life. There’s a saying Erik told me that I think of constantly: “Familiarity breeds contempt”. I actively try to find the unfamiliar in the familiar so I never, ever take what I have for granted.

I also like to make pages in my journal: think scents, what things look like & how the lighting is, what I’m wearing, etc – it helps create a “mood” which makes it fun to look back on – esp with outfits or perfumes! – but also, it helps strengthen my storytelling skills. This is great for blogging but also really great for my social skills which is something I’m proactively working on or as Erik calls it “hacking”.

what to bring to your secret place?

this is what I bring in my bag: journal + pens, my phone in airplane mode, my film camera {if I don’t bring my phone}, a good beverage {hot tea, coffee, or sometimes a split bottle of wine}, & sometimes a picnic lunch! In Dallas, I loved Eatzi’s & here I like Lucca Deli {caprese proscuitto sandwich, please!}

SO- if you have no plans this weekend, take yourself for a walk. You just may find your own little piece of magic!

How about you, do you have a secret place??



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Leave a Comment


  1. 2.6.20
    Marina Wang said:

    You can literally rock any looks, I am loving the vibe of this post šŸ™‚
    Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

    – Marina W

  2. 2.6.20
    Gitana said:

    I like this idea a lot, and it’s something i’ve definitely given thought to, but didn’t know how to express. I want to find something like that here in LA for sure. It’s difficult because I want a place that isn’t super populated with people (would make it feel more like a special discovery to me), but peaceful at the same time. Maybe a drive up Laurel Canyon (my future home goal) is just what I need. haha!

    I actually used to clear my head by driving. Mostly because I’m afraid to travel alone and be outside alone, but have done some beautiful drives and did a similar thing to you with journaling but every time I would have a thought I would talk to Siri and say “Siri, make a new note” and just talk and talk and talk and ramble into a Siri note. I know driving in SF is a HUUUGE pain but I really like the scenic drive option when I can’t find one location in particular. One time I actually drove from here all the way up PCH to Oxnard (2 hour drive) and got lost in a TOTAL FARM TOWN but it was a really beautiful drive.

    Sorry for the essay! But I really do think what you’re writing about here is important. To have a place (even if it’s a cafe that isn’t a basic starbucks or whatever) that you can sit for an hour with yourself is an important thing for people to have. There aren’t many people who make the time for moments in their day to just enjoy BEING. šŸ™‚

    Maybe next time you come to LA we can explore and you can help me find some special places! <3


  3. 2.6.20
    Martyna said:

    You inspired me to find such a place. I need to have a quiet, separated space to think about my life and future.
    Have a nice day,

  4. 2.6.20
    Radostina Blagoeva said:

    Really gorgeous sunset. Ohh yeah love secret places where you can just breath in live.
    I have a secret place as well! šŸ™‚