my living situation ♡

San Francisco-based lifestyle blogger, Shannon Silver, talks moving in with her boyfriend & living alone

Happy Tuesday!

I’ve been meaning to do this post for quite awhile since it’s actually something I get asked about a TON on instagram.

When I decided to start a lifestyle blog in 2014, I accepted that my personal life & life with Erik will intertwine with my blog… it comes with the territory, you know? That said, I try not to live for the blog, but instead live and document it. Easier said than done at times.

It goes without saying, my personal relationship is a huge part of my life. With that, not everything needs to be talked about on here. However, these days as content is more direct {& even moreso now than ever with IGTV}, there’s a lot of real time day in the life peeks going on.

SO- let’s get on with it. In my instagram stories, I generally would have a lot of content along the lines of: going to the butcher/grocery store, dropping it off at Erik’s, then going home to do whatever it is I’m doing. THIS has led to one of the most asked questions I get in my DM over the past few months: ‘wait, you don’t live with Erik?!’


I don’t live with Erik.

In fact, I’ve never lived with anyone before. The only time I’ve lived with anyone was in the sorority house in college of like 25 sisters. Ever since, I’ve always been on my own by choice. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Since I’ve gotten soooo many questions about this, I figured I’d tell exactly why & my thoughts on it. First things first, YOU DO YOU. I’m just speaking from my personal thoughts but that’s what works for me and my life and my relationship. Everyone is different.

The way I see it, my time living alone is extremely limited and something I need to treasure. It’s a time that does not last long so I wanted to enjoy it as much as possible. In fact, I remember reading this post from a favourite blogger of mine, Lauryn of The Skinny Confidential back in 2014 & it was something I VERY much related to because I felt the same way.

I love being alone. I love the solitude of coming home and having my space. It may be a little selfish, but I love having my music on in the background, laying in bed with a magazine, & popping open a bottle of wine for one that will last me over the next few days {ok, maybe just 1-2 days} & then going asleep alone. They are quiet, uninterrupted moments that are mine & mine solely – well, & my cat Lucy too. 🙂

Especially when I was working in an office environment, it would always be an nice buffer to come home to my place & take time to recharge before meeting Erik for the evening.

In my twenties, I knew no matter who I met, I wanted to live alone until I was at least in my 30’s.

That time in your life is extremely developmental & I wanted to enjoy it by myself. Selfish? Sure, but it’s the time to be selfish: I was young, unmarried, childless {I always will be btw, should I do a post?}, with very little responsibilities so why not take advantage of it? & that I did.

I especially didn’t want to rush my 20’s & when I would later meet Erik in them, I didn’t want to rush our relationship. Not to sound crazy but my life changed the second I met him & I just knew he was the real deal – so why rush things? If anything slow it the hell down! I want to realllllly savor every second with him.

& I’ll admit, the journey over the years has been pretty damn cool. It’s been so neat to see Erik & all he accomplished professionally, and same with mine – they are things we did alone or professionally but celebrated with each other. It’s been fun being each others partners, to really get to know ourselves, keep the individuality in our relationship, & toast to our accomplishments as they happen.

& if we are being honest? I loved it.

I loved every second of living alone: making my place truly that, girls nights with Lucy, endless Lifetime Movie Club marathons, pouring a drink and putting on a record, wine on the fire escape, even the not so fun of keeping things tidy {I’m a wreck lol}, & fixing things as they broke. Another not so fun part but it was a major investment to live alone but one worth every penny & worth being frugal about in my day to day life, especially since I don’t know if I ever will again, you know?

Anyways, just wanted to give my two cents on the matter since I know everyone is so different – it’s something that not only worked for me but transformed my life. I know it’s a bit against the grain to move so slowly & really be protective over my time alone but it’s something important to me. I should mention that I am also an extreme introvert so having time of solitude is what truly what recharges me.

I also wanted to get this post in ASAP because I am on my last 10 days of living alone! Long story short, everything happened really fast and we were looking for a new apartment for me & unexpectedly came across, well, the perfect one for us.

To put things in perspective, we found it on a Sunday afternoon, slept on it, talked about it on a Monday, & put in the offer on Tuesday. It happened really fast. If we are being honest, I was so caught up with not living with someone until I was married that I almost said no. That was just always my plan & that was that… but sometimes the best magic happens when you least expect it.

That Sunday, when I got home to really wrap my head around everything, I made the conclusion for the first time in my life that I’m ready for it. I love my time alone but I love being with him more. Once I found I was more excited to spend time with him vs having time to myself was when I knew I was ready. I know that looks awful typed out lol but that was my very honest turning moment… and it’s a feeling I’ve never even begun to feel in my 20’s.

I’m excited to make a place ours – in fact, it’s why I never would even consider moving in with him, instead it had to be something we did together if that makes sense. I wanted whatever was next in our life together to be a place we both found & both make a home together vs me just moving my things into his place {my studio is FAR too small for him to move into mine}. It’s in a new neighborhood, as well, so I’m really looking forward to exploring the new area with him.

Until then, I’ve been here relishing the last memories & not missing a single golden gate sunset. I will miss this apartment. It’s where I’ve lived since 2014, my first apartment in San Francisco & the last one of my own {& where I ended my 20s and entered my 30s}. It’s a special place & I kind of feel like Carrie Bradshaw when she left her place in New York for the next one. Yes, I’ll miss it, but it’s time to close this door and open a newer, more fabulous one. Also thank g, I kondo’ed my place last month!! It will sure make the move easier.

Anyways, that’s my situation! & if I leave you with everything, I leave you with this:

let things happen, don’t rush or force them & most importantly, do what feels right to you!

Life moves so damn fast these days, especially with social media, so this was something I really liked having in it’s own real time.

For me, it was having the time to myself before we go into this next chapter of things… which I am excited and nervous about all at the same time!

Also vvvv excited to deck out the new place. Any decor tips? let me know!

On another note, I am coming off the heels of a social media-tox and feeling fully recharged! I’m trying to make a more consiensus effort of my screentime and living in the moment.

On Sunday, we went over to Healdsburg for a fun event at Macrostie! We barrel-tasted and they had some wood-fire pizza. I don’t know what it is about wine country, but the pizza there is always next level.

We spent the day getting lost in Healdsburg: bocce at Campo Fina, some wine at Dry Creek Kitchen {my first time to go there! loved it}, & strolling along the square. It was a perfect day, but there was something so liberating about not capturing any of it online… even though I liked my outfit 😉

SO- that’s all I got… & now I gotta soak up the last few minutes in my lil oasis here in the Marina!

Talk soon,

xo Shannon


about essellesse

essellesse is a lazy luxury lifestyle platform by Shannon Silver focusing on everything that’s important to living your best life – great food, wine, travel, vintage style, fitness and skincare. essellesse evokes a style of lazy luxury that’s fun, intimate, and easy breezy.

@_shannonsilver on instagram