my absolute favourite personality test
essellesse talks the enneagram test // san francisco lifestyle blogger shannon silver is a type 8: the challenger with type 3: achiever & type 1: Reformer

Erik & I really love personality tests. We spend quite a lot of time on them but they help us understand ourselves and each other better.

A bit ago, we touched on Love Languages but today I want to talk about the Enneagram Test.

Have you taken it yet?

I took three different ones. This one, this one, & this one. These are all free but here is the official test for $12 which I actually might take since it will be the most exact.

I took three tests to see if my personality ranked true among all three & for the most part it did. I’ll get into my 3 types in a bit but one thing I found interesting is that my 3rd type remained the same and 1 & 2 ranged between two different ones. More in a sec!

To really simplify things, the enneagram test is a personality test that has nine different types, labelled by numbers. The following types are: 1 (Reformer); 2 (Helper); 3 (Achiever); 4 (Individualist); 5 (Investigator); 6 (Loyalist); 7 (Enthusiast); 8 (Challenger); 9 (Peacemaker)

Outside advice I was given about the free tests is that it isn’t entirely accurate. The paid version is the most accurate & worth the money but the best way to pin down your personality is by taking the test and then really reading the types & assessing them with an honest mind.

My personality can be difficult… both in the “hard to put a finger on” but also in the not so flattering “difficult” way.

I’ve invested a lot of time in learning about it because, over the years, I found I didn’t know how to deal with it.

It leads me to both success and trouble & sometimes I can’t differentiate the path. Does that even make sense?

Here are my enneagram results:

essellesse talks the enneagram test // san francisco lifestyle blogger shannon silver is a type 8: the challenger with type 3: achiever & type 1: Reformer

I’m a mix between type 8 & type 3, with type 1 always coming third. Types I do not score at all are 2; 7; & 9. If wings are involved, I’m an 8w7 & 3w4.

I took the test 3 times & twice, I scored 8 as my primary. After reading about it, it’s safe to say I’m an 8. I do very much have traits of a 3 but the 8 was the one that rang home to me.


To sum it up, & quote the test results: “we take charge because we don’t want to be controlled.” Challengers CRAVE control. We are extremely intense, have powerful instincts & physical appetites, are a bit domineering, VERY direct {almost to a fault}, and crave independence. We don’t work well for other people or teams & thrive on our own.

This all rings a little close to home here. I am a huge, huuuuuuge control freak & it’s both my biggest strength and my biggest weakness. When things are out of my control, that’s when I really start to feel chaos sink in and disaster always ensues.

With that, I’m also very… & at times too… direct. I am extremely upfront & blunt. There’s no sugar coating fluff and sometimes it even makes blogging a challenge.

With work, I THRIVE by working alone. I need {& crave} solitude. I don’t do well in teams. To me, it’s giving up control, which is something that’s so hard for me. Working at an office & especially open layouts gives me major anxiety. It was something I was worried about moving in with Erik too. Now that I work from home, if I’m not too careful, I will completely isolate myself from others.

A question on this test that stood out to me was Sometimes I’m too critical of others but I am much harder on myself than I am to others. That one was a hard yes to me & probably one of my biggest faults. I am extremely {EXTREMELY} hard on myself and it results me being too critical on others. The pressure I put on myself is a lot and I assume everyone puts the same pressure on theirselves that I do. One thing I’ll say is that it’s not to be rude, it’s just how I perceive the world & I realize very quickly it’s not the case.

essellesse talks the enneagram test // san francisco lifestyle blogger shannon silver is a type 8: the challenger with type 3: achiever & type 1: Reformer

NOW- deep down we are very vulnerable & sensitive… but very, very few people see that side as it’s a side we are very protective over and kind of even fear. THAT SAID- if you betray us & our trust {whether it’s being lied to, betrayed, gossiped about, insulted, etc}, we are done. But to those we love & that love us, we are generous to a fault & insanely loyal. This checks out on alllllll accounts. The intimate circle I have, I love dearly & generously & they see the good, the bad, the ugly. Those who have betrayed? Intolerable. It doesn’t matter who they were or how close we were – it’s very easy for me to trim the fat, let them go & never look back. I just won’t tell anyone the hurt it causes me or how I feel.

Another thing is the strong physical appetites. Mine is out of control… so much so, I spent years of my life in a career of food & wine and if we hang out in person, many of what we do is based around food & wine. My hunger and thirst is insatiable and it’s something I find insane pleasure in. It’s not fuel to me, it’s one of the biggest gifts & pleasures of life. This is fun, very fun… but can & has led to trouble.

One interesting note about 8’s is that many females don’t type as eights. To be completely blunt {I can’t help it lol}, making friends, especially here in San Francisco, is a challenge of mine & I find it’s because my personality. Interestingly enough, Dallas, New York, & Los Angeles were the easiest cities for me to make girlfriends in & to this day, that’s where many of them live {with the exception of my girl Colette which honestly thank G for her}. To be completely honest, I never felt like I “fit in” with or belong in San Francisco & I don’t think I ever will.

I consider myself an eight, because there was nothing I don’t relate to, even the really ugly of it: My temper isn’t the greatest, I have plenty of meltdowns, I’m not a stranger to rage, the pressure I have on myself is constantly crushing me, I am an awful employee, I give unsolicited advice all the damn time, I can’t handle “slack jobs” or laziness, I don’t give second chances & can get vengeful, and I hide all my emotions & don’t let people know how I really feel. Every single one of these traits have cost my relationships and friendships.

Let’s touch on three- this was my second most prevalent type.

The Achiever
essellesse talks the enneagram test // san francisco lifestyle blogger shannon silver is a type 8: the challenger with type 3: achiever & type 1: Reformer

Cliff notes on the Type 3 Achiever: they are very focused on success, respect, & admiration from others. Validation is key & I’d actually go as far to peg many influencers as Type 3 since social media & numbers can really satiate that need. Type 3’s are incredibly hard working, competitive, hyper-focused on their end goals, highly confident & driven, charismatic, and extroverted. Being seen as a “loser” is a 3’s biggest fear & success is what drives them.

I think my Type 8 really shows here because of the pressure I put on myself. I am extremely focused on my success & can get frustrated on where I am vs where I want to be. That said, my end game goal is very long term & I chip away at it everyday. I am also extremely competitive, compare myself to others constantly {instagram does NOT help}, and even with board games, I must win, I get addicted to that feeling. Losing is a fear of mine & not finding success is something that really scares me. Another thing I relate to is how image driven they are… but again, I tie that to the pressure I put on myself in every aspect of my life.

Things I don’t relate to as a three: validation isn’t huge to me & I am a huge introvert. I believe both of these go hand in hand. I get energy from solitude & validation is something that drains me as it’s outside energy from other people. I’d rather a small circle of people who believe in me than chase the opinions, approvals, & follows of others. I work hard every day but a lot of it is “behind the scenes” and not “on camera” for others to view if that makes sense. Threes also tend to be the life of the party, & I’m one who will decline the invitation to the party so I can read a book at home with my cat. Threes are generally warm, energetic, engaging people, & I can be a bit on the colder, aloof side.

essellesse talks the enneagram test // san francisco lifestyle blogger shannon silver is a type 8: the challenger with type 3: achiever & type 1: Reformer

Lastly, let’s touch on type 1. Every time I take the test, I always get this as my third type.

The Reformer

cliff notes on type 1’s: Reformers are perfectionists, reasonable, people fixated on improvement. They have strong moral compasses, control on their “bad moods”, & can detach all emotions to find improvement. They have high principles, and make great leaders. Ones also are very serious, extremely organized, committed, & workaholics. It’s not about the time spent working, but making sure it’s a job well done. They rarely show emotion, as they find it a weakness. They also aren’t spontaneous but they have so many interests & talents that they never run out of things to do.

I can see how this weaves in with my personality. I am an insane perfectionist, but again, the pressure I have on myself goes hand in hand with that. I’m constantly looking for things to improve on. If things aren’t working for me, I can easily switch it up and improve, not dwell, without attaching emotions to it.

Things I don’t relate to: control on my “bad” moods & the organizational aspect. It’s something I am proactively working on improving with my journals {which actually sounds like a one typed out! ha}. I’m also not the most reasonable person, not level headed, & very intense where ones have all that on lock. As far as leadership, I’m much better behind the scenes as a “creative director” than as a “leader”.

essellesse talks the enneagram test // san francisco lifestyle blogger shannon silver is a type 8: the challenger with type 3: achiever & type 1: Reformer

ERIK is a hardcore type 1. In fact reading this was like reading a character description of Erik. It’s him to a T.

Interestingly enough, his second two types are type 8 & type 3. Maybe that’s why we are so compatible? He really understands me in all my glory and I, him. If I’m having a meltdown, he knows it has nothing to do with him & everything to do with me. He works hard, and a lot, and very long hours, but I don’t take it personal. I’ll never get mad at him for being at the office until late or traveling for days or in some cases weeks. He also helps me see everything I do from a very practical eye and helps me constantly to improve my blog, future, work, & self. I also never take it personal when he tells me I need to change something because it will always be something that is an improvement & will lead to success.

VERY interesting to note, is that my best friend scored a 2. I didn’t score this type at all and it’s interesting how well we work in synergy with each other. We come to each other for advice constantly because I think we have such different traits & outlooks.

SO. We got a little personal here but it’s fun to share and I LOVE reading about other’s personality types.

Have you taken the enneagram test? What’s your type?? Any other 8’s in the house? let’s be friends!! 🙂


+++ take the test for free here, here, & here

+++ take the official test for $12 here

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essellesse talks the enneagram test // san francisco lifestyle blogger shannon silver is a type 8: the challenger with type 3: achiever & type 1: Reformer

about essellesse

essellesse is a lazy luxury lifestyle platform by Shannon Silver focusing on everything that’s important to living your best life – great food, wine, travel, vintage style, fitness and skincare. essellesse evokes a style of lazy luxury that’s fun, intimate, and easy breezy.

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